Sunday, November 10, 2013

Why is it even called potty training?  It should be called potty & poop on the floor week. Whatever you call it isn't not for the faint of heart.  Can you tell what we've been doing at our house the last few days?  Our youngest son turned 3 last month & up until this point we haven't tried potty training.  Like at all.  We knew early on that he did things only when he was good & ready to do them. This goes for crawling, rolling, walking, talking.  Seriously he didn't utter nary a word until we were at a well-check appointment & his pediatrician started mentioning speech therapy & how we should probably look in to it.  I kid you not he started to speak later that day.  I don't know if it is just because he works on his own time table or that he doesn't want to try something until he has mastered it, but we knew that if we tried to get out of diapers before he was ready to do it then we would be miserable.  And if you have potty trained before you know that you don't need to add anything else to the experience to make it more miserable.

Am I being too negative?  Nope.  Not unless  you enjoy setting a timer or asking a kiddo every 15 minutes if they need to go potty?  Like from the time their eyes pop open until their head hits the pillow again that night.  Do you get a thrill out of slipping in a puddle of pee that you forgot was still on the kitchen floor?  Do you enjoy running to the bathroom with a crying child in your outstretched arms who is soaking wet from the waist down socks included.  Perhaps you get a kick out of picking up pieces of poop that have fallen through your child's pant legs on to the living room floor?  Doesn't sound that fun to me yet I am choosing to live it, because that is what we do.  We help our kids learn how to move on to the next step in life even if that step is a slippery one.

And I know that he will eventually get it & that we will be done with diapers.  Hallelujah.   I know that it could be worse.  Really it could be. Our oldest son would just stop playing long enough to say "there is some poop over there by the train table that needs to be picked up, mom." Awesome.   I know that most kids don't want to go to the  bathroom in their very cool Jake the Pirate undies.  I know that nothing is fun about your mom all up in your face all day asking if you" want to squeeze some potty out of your penis."  And yes I said that.  No one ever tells you you are going to say stuff like that when you are in your birthing class.  It is like all modesty has left the building.  Seriously we currently have our potty seat set up in the kitchen because it is more central to where we spend the majority of our time in the house.  There it sits and there he sits reading his pile of books while I do the dishes or whatever else needs to be done.  Classy. Convenient.

This is an exciting time when every success gets applause & candy & there are stickers & it is so great.  Why would any kid in their right mind want to rush this process along?  He is smart.  He sees his brother goes to the bathroom day in & day out without any fanfare.  He realizes the accolades come to a stop at some point so why not take advantage of the candy before bedtime & the hanging out naked in the kitchen reading books phase?

I know that this is just one of the many phases of raising kiddos that the days are long, but the weeks are short.  I know that he will spend more time in life out of diapers then he ever did in them.  I also am pretty sure that he won't ever thank his father & I for the time & effort & cleaning products we put into potty training him.  I don't believe American Greetings makes that card.  So for now I am thankful that today's "training" is over, that we didn't have any accidents in public & that even though I sent him to church in a pink pull-up he still loves me.

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