What did I do last night? Oh you know. The typical mom thing. Met up with some girlfriends & under the cloak of darkness went to the new playground in our town. Complete with headlamps & all. We went to try the new zip-line out. For ourselves. With no kids. As I prepared to leave the house with my headlamp & beach towel (because let's face it I am a mom & the seat might be wet so we'd need a way to dry it off) my kids were protesting in the whole unfairness of it all as they readied themselves for bed. My oldest couldn't figure out for the life of him why I needed to go to the park at all much less at nighttime? It dawned on me that the poor kid doesn't even know that moms like to have fun too. He has been just as perplexed with my annual trip to the roller rink. I love roller skating but for some reason I just go on my birthday. Like for some reason since I am having a celebration it is allowable to enjoy myself. For some reason I think roller skating isn't permissible for me any other time. Anyone? Maybe it isn't roller-skating or zipping at a kids playground for you maybe it's crafting or skiing or horse back riding. Whatever it is why do we limit ourselves? Why do we hold back as moms content to create fun experiences for our kiddos or our families but when it comes to ourselves we hold back? We dismiss. We put-off. Or maybe it's just me & you all have it figured out & are out having a ton of fun. If so, call me!
This morning after my kids had awoken I said "Aren't you going to ask me if I had fun?" And instead they said "Was anything broken?" They were much more worried about whether or not my friends & I had left their playground intact (we did) than they were about me having fun. And I don't really fault them on that as I think we can all agree young kiddos do have a hard time seeing past themselves & they aren't used to seeing me have fun. They are used to me running errands, taking care of things, going on walks, and reading & doing a few exercise videos here & there. They don't see a lot of mom having fun just to have fun. Sure I have foot races with them in the yard. I roll down the grassy hills with them. We have a ton of fun together...& I am not trying to take anything away from that or lessen it in anyways. I am just saying maybe it's time to give ourselves permission as moms to have a little more fun? Just because. Because it's a good thing to model. Because it helps make you feel a little more alive. Because fun can be thrilling & it can help us to dream & remember what we like to do apart from lovingly care for our families. It helps us to see ourselves more as an individual rather than just are role as mom . It helps our kids see that we are more than just a mom. Being a mom is a big part of who we are & what we do. But, isn't it okay for their to be a bit more? Isn't it okay to take a few trips around the rink feeling the wind fly through our hair & enjoying the music just because? Isn't it okay to holler in the night on the zip-line with your friends cheering because another friend went super fast? I think it's more than okay. I think it would help us to take ourselves less seriously. And when I refer to "fun" I dont' mean take up a new insanely expensive hobby that requires certain clothing or equipment. I mean lay on your back & notice the cloud shapes. I mean go discover a new trail with your girlfriends. Whatever it may be chances are that when you were a kiddo yourself you found it really fun. Hula-hooping, bike rides, swimming, twirling in circles outside, we can still do these things. (And I hear you friend who is sighing or rolling your eyes as you read this because the stage you are in with your baby or your toddler really doesn't allow for time away or time to yourself much less even going to the bathroom alone, but hear me when I say this is not forever. There is a time just around the bend that although it may be hard to see it is coming & you will have free time again. I promise. Hang in there.) For the rest of us there is room in our full & busy lives to add them in. They won't take away from anything & they might just make us better moms.
I'd love to hear what you do for fun or if you aren't doing it yet what would you like to do?