My man is uber talented. He is a.maz.ing. He made the curtains for our first house, he is our family barber, mine included except for those few years he stopped due to a "crying episode" I may or may not have had after checking out my new doo in the mirror prior to a good wash & styling, he can build just about anything including shelves, mantles, a boom box out of a few spare parts in the garage & he has even worked on a few bridges in his time. He can paint beautifully, has a natural eye for photography (even photographed newborns professionally for a time), diagnosis & repairs our cars after a quick peek at YouTube...basically if the man wants to do something or have something he will just teach himself right quick & then like MacGyver it is done.
I on the other hand must have been absent the day common sense & household duties were being handed out, because I've had about zero knowledge in that department. I could go on adventures hitch hiking & staying in hostels by myself without hesitation, I could manage a successful business & staff, but ask me how to do laundry, or how to separate egg whites, or what to do with certain cleaning products, or ask me how the goverement system was set up & I was at a loss. He has seriously asked me how I survived in the years I lived on my own before meeting him. Not asking in any sort of egotistical manner just frankly curious how I made it. Admittedly I have wondered the same since that was in the time before Google. I have been known to Google just about anything. But there is no shame for me, because even the time I googled 'How to hard boil an egg' their were pages of people who'd asked that same question prior to me. One of God's greatest gifts to me is knowing from the beginning that Royce & I would end up together. He knew we needed each other. We'll I needed Royce & he is just better off for having me around
To this day I don't wash my whites & colors separately. And as far as my fitted sheets go they just kind of get rolled up into a ball & stuffed into the linen closet quickly before they spill out. I ask my husband so many "how comes" & "how to" questions it is amazing he still comes home after work.
There have been times throughout the years that I have thought my lack of knowledge in such things as endearing. Other times I have been frustrated by it, but have thought 'Oh, well that's just me". But, then the unthinkable happened. Royce started working all.the.time. He would be gone nights & days & days & nights. We barley saw him for 9 months because he was either sleeping or working. That is when mama had to put her big girl pants on.
I realized fairly quickly that if the car needed an oil change I was going to need to get it taken care of. If the light above the garage was out & I wanted it to shine again at night I was going to need to shimmy up the ladder & change it myself. If I wanted the Christmas tree out of the living room I was going to need to dismantle it & take it out. If there was a parade or event or get together that my boys wanted to experience I got us there.
I just started to think how valuable it was for my boys to see that I could do things too. Of course they knew I was the one who took care of the bills, I was the one who got the groceries, I was the one who meal planned & made sure we had adult & kid band-aids, but they hadn't ever really seen me get my hands "dirty" so to speak. I remember my boys being so amazed that I changed the light bulb all by myself w/my tools & that I even climbed up the ladder. This is no difficult task by any means, but previously it was outside of my comfort zone & I would have just asked Royce to take care of it when he had a minute. Now that I am being more mindful if there is something that needs to be done like weed eating I don't need to ask him to take care of it, because that is something I am totally capable of taking care of myself. And to me there really is nothing better than seeing those clean lines appear along side my driveway.
One thing that I took away from our 9 months was that it is good for my tiny people to see that mom is a capable person. That mom doesn't always need Dad to take care of things for her although it is clear to us all that there are certain things that Dad is & will always be more equipped to take care of & that is good to for them to see as a male role model. But, it is just as equally as important for them to see me as more than an owie kisser & meal maker. Do tiny people who one day grow into adults base their own household divisions on what they observed as a child? Do they view other women out in the world based on what the woman they were around most did? I don't have a clue. But, I do know that it feels pretty fantastic to accomplish something around the house & have my boys call me super mommy!