Monday, July 8, 2013

keep on keeping on.

We have a program on our computer that when certain questionable sites are visited (sometimes it is by mistake y'all) a picture of tea & kittens pops up onto the screen. And the kittens are purrty cute (see what I did there?) It is there to safeguard us from seeing content that isn't beneficial for our peepers to soak in.

Lately I have been thinking how awesome it would be if something would pop out of my mouth just as I was getting ready to yell or say something in an ugly tone or something that I would end up regretting saying to my boys.  Not necessarily have a kitten pop out, because that would be strange on a lot of different levels, but maybe a little banner for me to read that says " Happy.Happy.Happy. You longed for these kiddos.  Some people would like nothing more than to have a child to be exasperated at.  Love well.  Yell less."  Or maybe it could just be a recording of my sugary sweet voice saying "Mommy loves you"  whatever it would be that would be so terrific to have something immediate & without thought to safeguard me from saying something that isn't beneficial for their ears to soak in.  Sometimes it can make a gal weary to be thinking so much about what to think about & what to talk about.

In other news  last night was the 3rd night in a row we dined out al fresco.  There is just something about eating dinner outside in our little hideaway patio that makes everything taste better.  My man even brought out the boom box he just made out of a tool box, old car stereo & part of a computer & we had some instant ambiance.  Even though things taste better out there the boys haven't gotten the memo that the patio is my happy place & could they please leave their bad manners at the edge of the yard?!  There is still whining & negotiating about bites that takes place so even though our location has changed the circumstances have remained the same.

Isn't that they way with us though?  We expect that if we change the venue the circumstances ought to have also changed or at least got lost along the way.  Like if we move to a different state or house our marriage will finally be 'better"  or if I can just get that new job with the higher paying salary then I will be content.  Or what about when my kids get out of diapers & are more self-sufficient then I will have more time for myself"(Ha!) I can't the only one that fell for that last one.

Alas, for me,  changes like that sometimes do temporarily mask the circumstances enough that it seems as though they are no longer a concern to me.  This is not long lasting though & it always serves to remind me how I need to keep on keeping on regardless of the locale.  Sigh...I guess the same goes for my boys & the ever present need to "parent" them regardless if it is summer, dinner on the patio or just  plain wearisome.  I may not be seeing fruit from the consistent guiding yet, but I am hopeful that it will come.  Just as I am hopeful that one day I won't need to tell my adult sons how many bites of their dinner they need to eat so they can be excused from the table.

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