Friday, June 28, 2013

grade k. ready or not.

Does it make me a lazy mom that I encourage my 5-year-old son to dress my 2-year-old son?  Lazy? I think more like ingenious even though it is so going to back fire on me come this fall when we enter the kindergarten zone.  Then I will be left at home with an almost 3-year-old & neither of us will know how to get him dressed!

I have a few more pressing concerns about kindergarten that I am focused on though so that can wait. It isn't my son I am worried about.  He is so ready for Grade K.  He is ready to learn & be challenged & he is so excited about the possibility of playing on a playground 5 days a week that he is besides himself with excitement.  No, my concerns are all about me.

The thought of kindergarten looming at the end of summer is tainting my weeks of ice cream & beach days.  I literally can't escape it as the elementary school my son will be attending is at the end of our block so whenever I leave the house either by foot or by car I see it there all high & mighty with it's brick & mortar taunting me.  Saying "who does she think she is?  Is she really ready to be a mom of one of our students?  Does she really think she has prepared him enough for this?  Does she really think it is okay to send him here even though he can' t tie his own shoes?!  Does she think she can hang on our PTA?  Does she think she is smart enough or engaging enough to other kids to be a room mom?" (If they can even call it that anymore?)  All's  I know that if I am a room mom or, whatever it is, it will not be nearly as detrimental for my kiddo as it was for me the time my mom helped out.  5th grade, Mrs Wrights mom came for the day wearing the exact same sweatshirt I was wearing!  We were twinsies & I was mortified.  Safe to say I don't have many shirts with footballs or tractors on them so I think we are all good.

Maybe it's just me, but this new chapter of grade school seems so large & unknown.  We have had a lot of transition in the last few years & typically I roll with it & look forward to what it brings, but this one feels so different to me.  I feel like I am sending my son out in to the world & he is ready, but I am afraid I will find that I am unprepared.  Haven't started school shopping (when do you do that?), will the other kids know that he doesn't have a new lunch box?  Do I ever go & eat lunch with him?  What assemblies do parents actually go to?  What if it isn't casual chic to drop him off without showering & in sweats?  What if his new BFF's mom & I don't mesh?

I think a lot of it has to do with control (doesn't it always) & that up until now I have chosen where we go & when.  I have gotten to choose our church, our friends & our activities.  I have chosen whether I want to be uncomfortable or not. I have chosen the situations that my kids & I are exposed to.  Basically I have been living in a self-induced bubble & life there hasn't been too shabby.

But, now I have to choose to let go (just a tiny bit) & choose to trust.  Trust that I have done a good job at preparing him. Trust that he is a smart & determined fella & not only that he will be kind & tenderhearted to the other kids even if he is playing the bad guy at recess.  I am going to trust that there is a plan for this new season we will be entering into & I am also choosing to trust that I will adapt & grow in my new role as mom of elementary student extraordinaire.  So bring it brick & mortar.  I'll be seeing you in 67 days.

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