cultivating the heart.

Last night at dinner the husband & I were enticing our 2 boys with some seriously delicious fresh (so much better than frozen...who knew?) from the garden broccoli & all of it's sure to make you a super hero qualities.  We called it trees, monster truck food & then went with the old stand by "you don't have a choice.  You HAVE to eat.it."  Thank goodness they are still wee ones who don't think past the threat opportunity since I hadn't thought through to the consequence of it myself.  Anyway the husband & I won they choked down the brocolli & we were all happy.

Lest you get the wrong impression of me I do not have the garden were that delicious brocooli was sown.  Nope.  I am more of an instant gratification gal with my yard work.  I like to mow & pull weeds.  There you see it there you don't.  I love the idea of having a garden & have planned many out even buying seeds a few times, but then reality settles in & the idea kind of fizzles when I consider how you have to actually culitvate it.  

Our veggies are currently coming from our neighbors CSA.  Truly.  I walk out my front door at a certain time one day of the week cross the street & return with a box full of goodness.  I am just that lazy concerned about supporting local agriculture.

It occurred to me recently that I had become very lazy with my parenting as well...forgetting that my little ones hearts, dreams, imaginations need to be cultivated as well.  And, as much as preschool teachers, Sunday school, and Jake the Pirate help out with that it actually falls more on my shoulders more specifically my heart.  

I realized that when my heart is not in check there is no way I can be cultivating a good heart in them.  I have been a yeller, a threatener, a punisher & let me tell you none of that has been working out to well.  So, I am in the process of trying to find a balance between discipline and relationship.  Trying not to yell which since Summer is upon us it is great motivation to keep my tone in check.  The windows are constantly open & who really wants their neighbors to hear them talk to their kiddos like that?!  It is really humbling & embarrassing at times to hear how I actually speak to them.  I would never speak that way to a friend or a stranger so why in the world to I speak that way to the precious ones that I longed for so much?   So it is a work in progress. Not searching for perfection, but the progress I'll take.

P.S. if yelling at your kids is something you would like to squelch I have found some great encouragement & tips at: The Orange Rhino